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Showing posts from April, 2024

The Woman Sitting Next To Me

The Woman Sitting Next To Me ---------------------------------------------------------------                  ‘Can I tell you about what happened to my parents?’ ‘Ah, you're finally ready?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Sure, I'll listen. Why tonight though?’ ‘I feel like I’ve finally got someone I can trust.’ ‘I.. well..’ ‘No, it's ok. You don't have to say anything. Please, just listen if you will.’  ‘Of course. Come sit with me.’ This woman sitting next to me.. is it right for me to put my pain on her shoulders? Is it right to take the weight off of my back and let her into the parts of me that I’ve walled off from others for so long? I’m so very conflicted, but the gleam in her eyes tells me it's alright.  ‘Alright so.. hmm.. where to start. I don't remember much from those days, well, from when my parents were alive. I’m unsure if my mind just tried to lock those memories away deep in my subconscious, or if I really did just forget. I can only ...

A Particularly Beautiful Stretch Of Sky

A Particularly Beautiful Stretch Of Sky ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I’ve never really been the outdoorsy type. Sure, I played outside tons when I was a kid, but I've never been a hiker or adventurer of any kind. Recently though, I've been inexplicably drawn to this idea of just dropping everything, picking a direction, and walking. I think these types of thoughts first came to me on a train ride awhile back. I was looking out the window, getting lost in the landscape, when I realized all that was in front of me were fields stretching for as far as the eye could see- no buildings in sight. Beautiful mountains lined the horizon and the setting sun invoked a certain sadness in me as I rode past it. Something felt like it was pulling me to just put on a backpack and walk until I couldn't anymore. An urge I haven’t been able to shake for a long while now. I wasn't in any real position where I could just wander into the wilderness ...

That Which Causes The Visions

 That Which Causes The Visions --------------------------------------------------------------- I woke up so jarringly in a cold sweat, screaming again. My skin was pale and I could feel my throat was dry. The images of my nightmares always flash through my head for a second time when I begin to stir. These horrible visions haunt me whenever I close my eyes. When was it I had gone to sleep in the first place? No matter. I was awake, and I was determined to keep it that way. I was and still am to this very moment so very terrified- petrified even- of accidentally dozing off that I force myself to place all my mental resources on preventing it. The stress my restless nights are beginning to exert on my body and mind feel like a torture of inordinate- ineffable proportions. Occasionally, I lose focus and slip into a slumber. It has been impossible for me as of late to doze off without drifting into some sort of dream which paralyzes me with fear. I am afraid of sleep, for my most viv...